The Holiday Heartburn

The Holiday Heartburn

The last 3 months of the year are always the same. With Halloween, Thanksgiving, and then Christmas (or whatever you celebrate, don’t shoot the messenger) at the end of each month, it’s no wonder every January is the month gyms see their memberships increase dramatically.

The fear of weight-gain isn’t so much an issue with me; I’m already chubby, so I got extra room. But, because of that extra weight, and probably because my stomach hates me after all these years of abuse; I find that the sweets that come with this time of year give me really bad heartburn. This year I found out it’s not just me who gets that heartburn; my son does too. I didn’t even know kid could get heartburn.

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Here Are 3 Sure-Fire Ways Of Being A Terrible Parent!

Here Are 3 Sure-Fire Ways Of Being A Terrible Parent!

 

Parents don’t give themselves enough credit. And let’s be honest on why that is; we’re either spending most of our time questioning every decision we make, trying to keep up with impossible societal standards, that we convince ourselves we suck, or, the moment we actually *do* feel good about ourselves, and brag a little, the internet turns on you and tells you to stop bragging so much, and lets you know how not special you are. Parenting…damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

Don’t even think about stealing that…I’m trademarking it now!

Last week, I shared a post about how to be the best dad you can be, but you know what…being a good a parent is so yesterday. We bust our rear ends, and for what? That’s why I say, we forget this whole being a great parent thing, and instead we do the opposite. That’s right! You heard me correctly. I’m now saying, we parents, stop trying so hard. Start phoning it in a bit. Hell, lower the bar so much, that when you actually do roll out of bed, and just happen to feed those ungrateful mongrels, you’re likely to be crowned parent of the year status.   Read more

How To Be The Best Dad You Can Be

How To Be The Best Dad You Can Be

Some people get to be a dad because of chance; others are fathers by choice. No matter the circumstance that guides you to the your new path, the journey of fatherhood become a dad it is an amazing privilege, as it will be filled with tremendous moments of joy and inspiration. But, it is, at the same time a tremendous responsibility, because that same path will be filled with scary moments and times of uncertainty. In fact, it may seem overwhelming at times – some (like me), might even say, most of the time, but your role as a father is to be the best dad you can be. That may sound or feel daunting, but I assure you….it is! It’s also totally worth it, and you can do it with simple steps.

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There’s No Wiggle Room on Dosage

There’s No Wiggle Room on Dosage

I’m a blogging ambassador for the CHPA Educational Foundation’s KnowYourOTCs program but guess what: all opinions are mine!

No matter the amount of kids you have; the parent-life is a harried life. Yes, we parents come to social media, and we joke about our kids, make fun of certain things they do, look for the newest parenting meme to laugh at and share because, OMG….SO relatable!! 

One of the long-time running parents jokes is, knocking your kids out with common over the counter medicine. I’m sure you’ve seen it a million time…heck, you’ve probably even said a few times. Something like:

Parent 1 – Ugh, these kids will not go to sleep! How is 9pm and they still won’t lay down and go to bed?!?
Parent 2 – Hey, slip them some sleepy-time medicine in their juice. They’ll be out like a light.

I’m never one to criticize any type of joke someone throws out there about their kid. I mean, I’d be a massive hypocrite if I did – I’ve literally created my whole persona around the idea of making fun of my kids. But this joke…this is a joke I’ve always made a conscious decision to never take part in. Why this joke? What’s so wrong about joking about drugging your kids to fall asleep, as compared to all the other crazy stuff I’ve talked about? Read more

The Signs of Fall: Back to School, Foliage, Pumpkin Spice, and…GERMS!

The Signs of Fall: Back to School, Foliage, Pumpkin Spice, and…GERMS!

The signs of fall are slowly starting to make their presence known; even here in the Washington DC area. It might be hard to spot them, with the day-to-day change of weather we’re having this year – 85 degrees and muggy one day, and 65 degrees, windy and rainy the next…still muggy though. But, other than that, the signs are all around us…and I hate it!

Don’t get me wrong, I love the fall, but in true curmudgeon-fashion, still find something to complain about, and fall is no exception. So, what exactly is it I dislike about fall? How about almost everything!

But Mike, what about the leafs; the beautiful leafs changing color.
Great! The only feelings I get from watching the leafs change color is indifference and annoyance. Let me know how beautiful you think those leafs are when you’re pulling them out of your backed up gutters…then, clean mine out while you’re at it.

But Mike – Pumpkin Spice…EVERYTHING!
To that I will say…I hate you. And I hope you get trampled by a stampede of women in yoga pant and ugg boots.

Uuuhhh, ok. Well, at least your kids are back in school. Nothing to complain about there…right??
You must be new here, because….WRONG!

I can always find something to complain about. Luckily, when it comes to kids, you don’t have to look far – especially this time of year.

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Back to School Isn’t Just About Knowing Your ABCs; It’s Also About Learning Your OTCs

Back to School Isn’t Just About Knowing Your ABCs; It’s Also About Learning Your OTCs

I’m a blogging ambassador for the CHPA Educational Foundation’s KnowYourOTCs program and all opinions are mine

You may have noticed the level of rejoicing from parents on line has increased over the past week or two. Heck, if you’re reading this, you’re probably one of those parents too; I know I am. Allow me to explain to all my non-kid-having-readers….do I even have those readers?

It’s Back to School time!!

That’s right; summer is finally coming to an end, and we parents can finally see the light at the end of the OMG-I’M SO BORED-THERE’S NOTHING TO DO-I WANT A SNACK-CAN I WATCH TV-CAN I HAVE ANOTHER SNACK-MORE TV-I DON’T WANT TO GO OUTSIDE-WHY IS THERE NOTHING TO DO-I’M HUNGRY-tunnel that is summer vacation. Oh, and btw…all that happens before 9am. You’re welcome for the birth control.

It isn’t just about getting rid of our kids though. I mean, it’s mostly about getting rid of our kids, but it’s also knowing that we’re sending out little deam…err…kids…I meant kids…off to partake in higher education; to become smarter, and more productive members of society.

You’re not buying any of this, are you? Yeah…I don’t blame you.

Ok, we also get to annoy the rest of the internet with our obligatory First Day of School pictures. See, here’s mine: Read more

3 Ways to Determine Your Family is Feeling Overly Stressed

3 Ways to Determine Your Family is Feeling Overly Stressed

If there is one thing that is synonymous with parenting, it’s sleep…or, lack there of to be honest. And while many of us joke how we cope with the loss of sleep, or how much coffee chug just to avoid ending up in a orange jumpsuit – the loss of sleep, and how it effects the body and mind is a serious topic. That’s why I’m happy to have a guest author Sarah Cummings from SleepAdvisor.org to talk about this very issue.

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Stress is an inevitable part of modern life. For short periods of time it can be perfectly normal, your body is designed to cope with it and it can even give you the kick up the behind you need to get things done. Read more

Daddy, Dis Way

Daddy, Dis Way

 

Every morning is the same. The routine is always the same…until it isn’t.

It’s moments like this; the shroud of mundane that is associated with parenthood, is stripped away. What was, just moments ago, the same boring routine, is now the sudden realization of how much time has passed; how much has changed; how much has happened, and how much you’ll miss going forward.

It was just yesterday,  I was buckling you into your car seat before we left the house…yet somehow today, you’re walking…no, sprinting ahead of me, calling out, “Daddy, dis way!” I am suddenly struck by how much I love you. Read more

Is Love Enough??

Is Love Enough??

 

“Uhhh, so what?!? Love is not enough!”

The words slammed into me like a baseball bat. Shocked and shaken to my core, I quietly sat; not daring to say another word. I could feel the words still floating around the room – watching me, waiting for me to say something else so it could remind me again. A voice, deep inside spurred me – poking me, “Come on man! Fight back! Do it for love…do it for you!!” But I remained silent.

I’ve always found it odd how there are times I can’t recall what I did in a single day, yet, I can remember back to a single moment in my past; a moment like this, and recall it in such vivid detail. Maybe it’s because of the impact it had on me, or that I still carry around the invisible scar these words left behind. Or, maybe I’m making too much of it, and it’s just how our brains work. But I will always remember this day – this conversation, for the rest of my life. Read more

The Speech I Would Have Given at Mom 2.0…Had I Won

As many of you already know by now, I recently went on a bit of an extended trip; hoping to the West coast, and even leaving the country for a bit. The first 3 days of that trip, I hung out in beautiful, Pasadena, CA, where I attended the 2018 Mom 2.0 conference. Why would a dad be hanging out at a mom conference? First off, stop being so judgmental. Second, I was honored to be nominated for a 2018 Iris Award, for Best Dad Blogger of the Year (about damn time, lol)
The Iris Award is like the parent-blogging version of the Oscars. Ever since I started this blogging journey, I’ve wanted to win one. But, alas, the beautiful statue remains beyond my grasp…I did not win. As cliché as it sounds though, it *really* was an honor to be nominated.
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