“It feels like not a day goes by that I don’t get on social media and read some story, or see someone post about them or someone they know having cancer, or passing away.”
This is just a small piece of a conversation I had with a friend recently. She told me she had a recent cancer scare. She said that 6 weeks ago she went to the doctor’s office and received the kind of news that changes your life forever; and you’re the only one that knows about. The prognosis that you “might” have cancer.
Getting news that you may be living with (or worse, dying from) cancer, has to be life altering; something that rocks you to your very core. I can’t even imagine how it must feel, and frankly I don’t ever want to. But to get the news that you “might” have cancer, and now you just have to wait and see…how does one even function with that uncertainty in your mind? And worse, if you’re parent, how do you keep going? How do you focus on your family obligations? Not to make light at all, but how do you even?
Think of your daily grind as a parent. Getting kids ready for school, making meals, paying bills, doing the shopping, upkeep of your home, dealing with bickering kids, and if you work outside the home; that’s just a whole other level of stress to deal with. All of this, and no one knows you’re walking around with this 10k lbs gorilla on your back; that you might have cancer. And you do this because as a parent you don’t want to scare anyone if you don’t need to.
This is literally everything my friend dealt with for almost 2 months, and so many other mothers deal with the exact same thing every day.
So, you’re probably wondering why I would say these women inspire me. Well, quite simply put, it’s their enduring strength in denying themselves the freedoms we insist upon our children. We tell our kids to be open with us, and no matter what happens, we’ll get through this together. However; the unspoken caveat to that statement is, “When you become a parent, you’ll find out that these rules don’t apply to you anymore,” because as parents we hide our fears and our worries from our kids, because we are strength.
And that’s what these mother’s are; they are pure strength.
My friend also told me that while she knew she was doing the right thing for her kids, and that it was so hard on her. There were times she wanted to just break down and cry, or scream at her kids to stop bickering because she was freaking out and needed support, and that late at night when everyone was fast asleep; only then did she truly feel the level of relief to cry, and cry, and cry, until she fell asleep herself.
Some may not agree with my assessment that there is strength in lying to your kids, but I would counter with there is a big difference in lying to your kids, and protecting them from a truth that may not even be true. It’s not just the parenting gene, but the special bond mothers have with their babies. The creations that came to be inside their womb. Your heart that you get to watch walk around outside of your body for (hopefully) a long time.
Cancer kills indiscriminately. It cares not about your age, race, gender, social status, wealth, religion, or any other factor you think comprises who you are. And I am aware many women (not just moms), deal with cancer on a daily basis. And yes, you ladies are inspiring too, but as a parent, and a partner to a wonder woman who is an amazing mom, I just wanted to talk about the moms out there who belong to the multicolored ribbon brigade…I see you. I hold you in the highest of regards.
You inspire me!
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