A couple days ago, when I wrote about my friend Tara Wood, I mentioned the saying that people come into your life for a reason, a season, or forever. Then there are those who you can’t seem to get rid of, no matter how hard you try. That’s my friend Sara to a T.
Sara is my oldest friend…literally. She’s old AF yo! But seeing as our birthday’s are exactly a week a part, and as she loves to remind me every year mine come first, which means I’m older than her for one week each year. That makes me old AF too.
She’s also my dearest friend. I’ve known Sara since we were in 2nd grade. You know that song Fantasy by coo coo bird Mariah Carey, where Old Dirty Bastard says, “We go back like babies and pacifiers”? That’s us. And for as long as we’ve known each other, we’ve run the gamut of relationships.
We grew up together as innocent little kids in elementary school, hung out with vastly different crowds in middle school, and then became really close in high school. Hell, even high school was almost like a life all it’s own. We we’re close, we we’re distant, we enjoyed each other, we we’re angry at each other. At one point I even had “feelings” for Sara…they were not shared, lol. But hey, what you expect from a kids who’s hormones are out of control and has a girl for a best friend? It’s probably better nothing ever came of all that anyway, because one of us would have smothered the other in their sleep long ago. Instead she has become like the asshole sister I never wanted.
We have always had a shared love of movies, especially 80’s movies. She’s the only one that has ever been able to hang with me when quoting movies. We share a very sarcastic sense of humor, yet she’s probably the only person who can make me blush, as she has a mouth like a sailor, and mind that makes me feel dirty even thinking about it.
One regret I do have from high school is I watched as Sara dated a horrible person, who I later found out was abusive to her. I never knew, but it doesn’t stop me from still feeling like I failed my friend. I wish I would have known, I wish I could have helped in any way.
We drifted apart for a good chunk of years in our early 20s. I went off to the military and Sara stayed around San Diego where we grew up. It wasn’t until years later that we reconnected via the wonderful invention that “was” MySpace.
When we did finally reconnect, it was awkward at first, kind of like in Grosse Pointe Blank when Martin shows up and surprises Debbie (his ex) after disappearing on prom night 10 years prior. We talked some shit, insulted each other for a few minutes, said how the other was an asshole for not keeping in touch…and then it was like we never lost time.
I’ve watched as Sara has become a parent, something, if I’m being completely honest, I never even thought would enter her world, let alone twice over. Sara has always been a free spirit. As long as I can remember, I’ve always found it refreshing, and annoying some times. But she was the perfect balance to my constant worry about reality, because it never felt like she lived in it.
I think I always imagined Sara would end up some kooky-ass librarian somewhere, stuffed in a pile of books, ignoring every customer that comes in because she’s too busy reading. And don’t even try and get her attention, because you’ll probably get the worst case of, “FUCK OFF” from an angry lady who’s all barely 5 feet tall on a good day.
While I wasn’t there for a very horrible phase in Sara’s life when we were kids, I have been there since. And I’ve watched my friend go through a lot. She’s dealt with loss, both of a marriage, and of her mom. She’s dealt with people who don’t have her best interest in mind, and take advantage of her free nature, who just wants to enjoy people.
But, through all that…through the good and the bad; no matter how dark times get for her, my friend always seems to find a way to emerge. Battered and bruised, and maybe a little more tired, but still the strong women I know she is…even though she doesn’t see herself that way.
My friend is resilient, and loving, and she’s the one who taught me long ago that we’re aren’t defined by the people we’re born from, and we get to choose our family…and that’s why I admire her.
If you enjoyed this post, you might also enjoy these: