So here we are; we’re finally at the end of this month long celebration of women in my life. We started with the most important woman in my life – the Wife, and what would be more fitting that to close it out with someone who is the future of Women’s History, Baby Skully.
Earlier this week I was telling the Wife who was going to be featured in my last few posts in this project. She was obviously happy I was going to be talking about her best friend, concerned I was going to be talking about my mom, but over the moon excited I was going to write about Baby Skully. That’s when I realized, that in the just over 8 months she’s been with us, this will be the first time I have written a post featuring her. I wondered why that was, other than I have been lazy about posting in 2017. Was I scared or nervous to talk about her? Did I not feel connected to her enough to invest in a post? Or is she just boring and there isn’t much to write about an 8 month old? Well, who cares, because we’re here now.
It’s hard to believe Skully’s first birthday is right around the corner. It feels like we just brought her home yesterday. Then some days it feels like she’s been part of our lives forever.
So how do I explain admiration for a person who hasn’t achieved anything in life yet? How do I explain holding someone in such high esteem that hasn’t even turned 1yo yet? Is it even possible to admire a baby? Well, I do, so I guess it is.
Skully is, as the Wife puts it, a very intuitive baby. She knows what she wants, and she doesn’t want to settle for anything else. A lot of this has been shown in her ability to not only adapt to different routines, but her being ready to switch it up while we’re still hemming and hawing over how to get it done. For example, Skully had to start her life sleeping in a rock and play sleep. Like her bother, she had some reflux, and needed to sleep upright. She eventually starting rolling over in her sleeper, and being that she was still swaddled at the time, that’s really dangerous.
Neither the Wife or I were quite ready to give up the swaddle (not really sure why; it’s not like it was magic or anything – that girl did what she wanted, when she wanted). We bought several different in between items that are supposed to help transition from swaddle to no swaddle while in the crib. Nothing worked. Skully hated them all, and was very “vocal” about her disdane for them as well. One night we were so frustrated at her crying, that we finally gave in and just took her out of the thing we were using and put her back in the crib in a simple sleep sack. 2 days later, it was like she had been sleeping that way all along. She’s doing the same with food as we speak. She literally eats everything put in front of her; Ferris was not like that at all.
I admire my daughter because she has no idea how much she has helped get the Wife and I where we are right now. Skully was a super easy baby for the first 2 weeks of her life. But everything changed after that, and the reflux set in, she stopped sleeping, and starting crying all the time. It didn’t take long for the stress to set in, and the Wife and I starting slipping back into old habits – habits that almost ruined us when Ferris was a baby. Luckily this time we got the help we needed, instead of just shoving it all down and not dealing with the problems. And once we started being happier, she became happier. Obviously I can’t prove in any way that these things are related, but it’s almost like she could sense our unhappiness, inside ourselves, and pushed us to seek help. It may be coincidence, but I like the way we look at it.
Skully is just a happy person. Even when she fusses, it’s so cute, and you can tell it’s really nothing; she usually just wants to be held, or hang out with her BFF the Wife. Which brings me to another thing I love so much – that Skully and the Wife are the typical baby and mommy type relationship. Skully loves her mom…like, LOVES her. The bond between those two is so amazing, it just makes my heart explode. The Wife and Ferris never had that bond, but Skully and the Wife are like two peas in a pod. If they could cuddle all day, they would.
I admire Skully’s disposition. With barely any time logged on this rock, she is one of the happiest people I have ever met. Sure, it doesn’t take much for a baby to be happy, but she could as easily be crabby, but she’s not. She just a smile-monster. Her two favorite people to dole her smiles out to are mommy (of course) and big brother. Oh man, does she ever love her big brother.
I admire that Skully will not grow up how I did. She will never know the sting of abuse. She will never wonder if her parents love her. She will never be made to feel like she owes us anything, instead, she will know support. She will know no other feeling that two parents that encourage her to find her own path. And most of all, when someone (most likely a man) tries to tell her her worth is based on things other than her qualifications, or that she can’t do something because she’s a women, she will be told to PERSIST! Skully will know the freedom and support of her finding her identity, and living her truth. She will be encouraged to love who she loves, and to explain that love to no one.
When we found out the Wife was carrying around a little girl, I was so scared. It was hard enough to wrap my mind around raising a boy into a man in today’s society, but raising a girl; the thought nearly sent me into an anxiety induced panic. I’m still scared sometimes, but I know, in my heart, Skully is going to be amazing. I can’t stop life from happening to her. I can’t live my every day worrying about all the crap that will surround her as a little, and eventually as a woman. She has amazing examples in her life to show her what a strong, intelligent, independent woman looks like. Hopefully I can add a little to that over time by showing what a good man looks like.
I love you little girl, even though you spend more time giving me side-eye than cuddles. I always swore no woman would ever be able to capture my heart after your mom did all those years ago…but you’re persistent, and you proved me wrong. I admire that.
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