Cleaning the House Just Became Mission Dadpossible With #AquavertClean

Look, I understand that we all love our kids. But let’s get real for a second here…can we?

Kids ruin everything!

From the moment the arrive, it’s like they’re on a mission to destroy. First, they destroy your sleep patterns, with all the crying and whining, and wanting to eat and stuff…ugh!! Then, they become mobile and ruin any sense of relaxation you may think you still had, because NOW you have to *literally* watch them every second of the day, or they just might crawl off and put something in their mouth, that they shouldn’t, sending you into a full-blown panic, causing you to shove their head under a sink, essentially waterboarding your child…or so I’ve heard.

But it’s when they get past that stage, and reach the next one, that they really become the destructive beasts we all know them to be. That’s right, toddlerhood to pre-teen is when kids are at their worst. Why, you might be wondering? Because kids are dirty, germ-carrying, factories of yuck, and they walk around your house touching everything, and rubbing their nose all over stuff, completely missing the toilet , even while sitting on it (how is that even possible?!?). It’s enough to make any parent throw their hands up in their air, and just give up. Continue reading

Advertisements

More Coffee, Less Talkie: The Story of my Mornings

I try my hardest to not fit into any kind of stereotype when steering through life. But, when it comes to kids, parenting, and coffee needed first thing in the morning, you might as well make me the poster child for this stereotype, because I’m all about it.

Prior to having kids I never drank coffee, except maybe a handful of times. I still wasn’t much of a morning person, but I didn’t need the extra assistance; I could just wake up gradually throughout the day. And weekends – forget about it. I wasn’t up before the crack of noon anyway. In fact, I actually found coffee quite gross. I know, I know, it hurts me to admit that as well. Continue reading

Boudreaux’s Butt Paste: #KickingRash on Your Daily Annoyances

Kids are gross. There, I said it. For every moment someone wants to share some super-cute or adorable picture of their kid on social media, I think they should be forced to share at least 10 pictures of their kids when they’reĀ not-so-cute.

You know, like when they have snot running down their face, or they’re sneezing without covering their mouth – which all parents know, somehow the spit from said sneeze ALWAYS lands on you…mainly in the facial region. Continue reading

Women I Admire Day 27: Deva Dalporto, Queen of the Mom Parody #WomensHistoryMonth

When friends without children ask to describe what it’s like having kids (why you would ever ask this, I have no idea), I tell them, “Raising kids is very much like listening to the music on the radio today; it sucks!” Ok, it doesn’t just suck. Sometimes it can be fun, and who knows, after a while you might even grow to like it. Oh, and it’s really fun when you can make fun of it. Of course I’m talking about the music; the kids still suck.

If you spend even one minute on social media; and let’s face it, if you’re a red blooded human being, you’re on there most of your day like everyone else, you’ve seen at least one video doing a parody of a song you know. And most likely, it’s parents doing it – moms to be more specific.
Continue reading

Women I Admire Day 23: Brooke Takhar, Conquering Fear With Laughter #WomensHistoryMonth

Fear is a natural part of life for most people. Sure, some people have more fears than others; fear of heights, fear of dogs, fear of clowns…because FUCK CLOWNS!! Hell, when you become a parent your fears grow 3 sizes, like they’re the Grinch’s heart or something. But while most of the these fears can be fixed or subsided by realizing that everything is going to be okay, there’s one kind of fear that can literally stop you in your tracks; stunt your growth in a number of areas (personally, professionally, emotionally) – the fear of failure.

As a creative person, I know this fear well; most, if not all creative people do. Being creative is mix wanting to be seen, but afraid of not being good enough. But, what if we didn’t do that? What if we weren’t afraid to put ourselves out there, or be afraid of being judged? What if we just took a leap, and trusted in ourselves?
Continue reading

Women I Admire Day 17: Tova Leigh, Video Star #WomensHistoryMonth

Remember when they said video killed the radio star? Well, these days it’s more like video killed the blogging star.

More and more people are moving towards video because people would clearly rather watch a video, that read a story. As much of a bummer as that is for traditional writers like me, it’s really opened doors from some really hilarious content creators.
Continue reading

Women I Admire Day 13: Jen Mann, Throat Puncher #WomensHistoryMonth

Like many of you, my first experience with the hilarious Jen Mann was her brilliant post about the Elf on Shelf and the overachieving moms that come along with that damn thing. This now famous post of hers came out right as I was dipping my toes back into writing again, as well as anxiously awaiting the arrival of our son. I was automatically nerd-smitten with this lady.

After the arrival of Ferris I followed Jen even closer as she wrote at great length about douchey dads, annoying overachieving moms, her husband’s odd idiosyncrasies, and the ever growing list of people she wanted to punch in the throat. Seeing how I spend most days thinking the same thing about most people, Jen quickly became my writing idol, as I wish I had the stories and the comedic acumen to describe my distaste for mankind only the way she does.
Continue reading

Women I Admire Day 10: The Ladies of Totally Profesh #WomensHistoryMonth

I’ve been in the social media/blog game for a hot minute. And no matter how many times we say it, or how many other creators you meet and even become friends with, we still see each other as competition.

Even as you grow in audience size or become for recognizable to brands, that doesn’t always take that feeling away either…not completely that is. Content creators haven’t have an example to follow, or someone to show us really how to not compare ourselves. That is until now.
Continue reading