There’s No Wiggle Room on Dosage

There’s No Wiggle Room on Dosage

I’m a blogging ambassador for the CHPA Educational Foundation’s KnowYourOTCs program but guess what: all opinions are mine!

No matter the amount of kids you have; the parent-life is a harried life. Yes, we parents come to social media, and we joke about our kids, make fun of certain things they do, look for the newest parenting meme to laugh at and share because, OMG….SO relatable!! 

One of the long-time running parents jokes is, knocking your kids out with common over the counter medicine. I’m sure you’ve seen it a million time…heck, you’ve probably even said a few times. Something like:

Parent 1 – Ugh, these kids will not go to sleep! How is 9pm and they still won’t lay down and go to bed?!?
Parent 2 – Hey, slip them some sleepy-time medicine in their juice. They’ll be out like a light.

I’m never one to criticize any type of joke someone throws out there about their kid. I mean, I’d be a massive hypocrite if I did – I’ve literally created my whole persona around the idea of making fun of my kids. But this joke…this is a joke I’ve always made a conscious decision to never take part in. Why this joke? What’s so wrong about joking about drugging your kids to fall asleep, as compared to all the other crazy stuff I’ve talked about? Read more

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The Signs of Fall: Back to School, Foliage, Pumpkin Spice, and…GERMS!

The Signs of Fall: Back to School, Foliage, Pumpkin Spice, and…GERMS!

The signs of fall are slowly starting to make their presence known; even here in the Washington DC area. It might be hard to spot them, with the day-to-day change of weather we’re having this year – 85 degrees and muggy one day, and 65 degrees, windy and rainy the next…still muggy though. But, other than that, the signs are all around us…and I hate it!

Don’t get me wrong, I love the fall, but in true curmudgeon-fashion, still find something to complain about, and fall is no exception. So, what exactly is it I dislike about fall? How about almost everything!

But Mike, what about the leafs; the beautiful leafs changing color.
Great! The only feelings I get from watching the leafs change color is indifference and annoyance. Let me know how beautiful you think those leafs are when you’re pulling them out of your backed up gutters…then, clean mine out while you’re at it.

But Mike – Pumpkin Spice…EVERYTHING!
To that I will say…I hate you. And I hope you get trampled by a stampede of women in yoga pant and ugg boots.

Uuuhhh, ok. Well, at least your kids are back in school. Nothing to complain about there…right??
You must be new here, because….WRONG!

I can always find something to complain about. Luckily, when it comes to kids, you don’t have to look far – especially this time of year.

Read more

Back to School Isn’t Just About Knowing Your ABCs; It’s Also About Learning Your OTCs

Back to School Isn’t Just About Knowing Your ABCs; It’s Also About Learning Your OTCs

I’m a blogging ambassador for the CHPA Educational Foundation’s KnowYourOTCs program and all opinions are mine

You may have noticed the level of rejoicing from parents on line has increased over the past week or two. Heck, if you’re reading this, you’re probably one of those parents too; I know I am. Allow me to explain to all my non-kid-having-readers….do I even have those readers?

It’s Back to School time!!

That’s right; summer is finally coming to an end, and we parents can finally see the light at the end of the OMG-I’M SO BORED-THERE’S NOTHING TO DO-I WANT A SNACK-CAN I WATCH TV-CAN I HAVE ANOTHER SNACK-MORE TV-I DON’T WANT TO GO OUTSIDE-WHY IS THERE NOTHING TO DO-I’M HUNGRY-tunnel that is summer vacation. Oh, and btw…all that happens before 9am. You’re welcome for the birth control.

It isn’t just about getting rid of our kids though. I mean, it’s mostly about getting rid of our kids, but it’s also knowing that we’re sending out little deam…err…kids…I meant kids…off to partake in higher education; to become smarter, and more productive members of society.

You’re not buying any of this, are you? Yeah…I don’t blame you.

Ok, we also get to annoy the rest of the internet with our obligatory First Day of School pictures. See, here’s mine: Read more

Parenting is Literally Pest Control

Parenting is Literally Pest Control

I’m a blogging ambassador for the CHPA Educational Foundation’s KnowYourOTCs program but guess what: all opinions are mine!

It’s that time of year again…Summer

The short and dark days of ice, sleet and snow, are a distant memory. Replaced now, with warmer, longer days…or, if you live where I do; painfully long days, where the temperature is in the high 70s already at 6:00 in the morning. And while that doesn’t sound bad, the humidity is also at 9,000%, so the moment you step outside, you know what it feels like to have several large men, sitting on your chest.

This isn’t exactly the kind of weather you want to be in, or even have your kids outside in, but, you’ve been stuck with them inside for the past 6 months, listening to them complain about it being too cold, and they’re too bored, and there’s nothing to do, and can we watch more TV, and…OMG, JUST GO OUTSIDE!!!

But this brings up another problem with this time of year where I live. Even if, the weather cooperates, and you aren’t stuck inside, with your head shoved so close to your air conditioner that it drowns out all sense of life around you…because anything to not hear your kids complain about one more thing; and you actually get to enjoy some time out, possibly sitting by the pool, watching your children act like the feral mongrels they are…you have now become prime targets for the inevitable attack of, summer time pests. And no, I’m not talking about other kids. Read more

3 Ways to Determine Your Family is Feeling Overly Stressed

3 Ways to Determine Your Family is Feeling Overly Stressed

If there is one thing that is synonymous with parenting, it’s sleep…or, lack there of to be honest. And while many of us joke how we cope with the loss of sleep, or how much coffee chug just to avoid ending up in a orange jumpsuit – the loss of sleep, and how it effects the body and mind is a serious topic. That’s why I’m happy to have a guest author Sarah Cummings from SleepAdvisor.org to talk about this very issue.

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Stress is an inevitable part of modern life. For short periods of time it can be perfectly normal, your body is designed to cope with it and it can even give you the kick up the behind you need to get things done. Read more

Daddy, Dis Way

Daddy, Dis Way

 

Every morning is the same. The routine is always the same…until it isn’t.

It’s moments like this; the shroud of mundane that is associated with parenthood, is stripped away. What was, just moments ago, the same boring routine, is now the sudden realization of how much time has passed; how much has changed; how much has happened, and how much you’ll miss going forward.

It was just yesterday,  I was buckling you into your car seat before we left the house…yet somehow today, you’re walking…no, sprinting ahead of me, calling out, “Daddy, dis way!” I am suddenly struck by how much I love you. Read more

Finding Peace Through Decluttering

Finding Peace Through Decluttering

Disclosure: I was provided product to review from SONGMICS, but all opinions are my own.

I truly hate cleaning. I absolutely detest having to pick up and put things away. And anyone out there who has kids will tell you; that’s about 70% of parenting. The other 30% is split between yelling at those same kids for the mess they made, and you’re about to pick up; yelling for them to stop fighting; yelling at them to quiet down; yelling….well….just more yelling.

But, the thing I hate more than having to pick up after others is…a mess. I can’t stand mess!!

Read more

5 Awesome #CampingHacks from a Dad


Disclosure:  This post is in collaboration with Jellystone Park Camps and Resorts, yet all opinions and hack concepts are mine.
I love to go camping! I know, you’re probably finding that hard to believe, considering how much of an introvert and lover of laying on my couch, that I am. But it’s true! It’s one of the only things I miss about being in the military.
I didn’t appreciate it at the time, because like most things, youth is wasted on the young. But looking back now, going to the field or going camping (as everyone back home thought that’s all we did in the Army) were some of my best memories. You wouldn’t know it then, because we mostly complained about having to go out for drills and do exercises (I’m not talking about jumping jacks and sit-ups here, people).
Some of my fondest memories are of the (borderline genius) hacks that we soldiers would come up with to make life out there easier. Like the time we made a homemade portable shower. Read more

Is Love Enough??

Is Love Enough??

 

“Uhhh, so what?!? Love is not enough!”

The words slammed into me like a baseball bat. Shocked and shaken to my core, I quietly sat; not daring to say another word. I could feel the words still floating around the room – watching me, waiting for me to say something else so it could remind me again. A voice, deep inside spurred me – poking me, “Come on man! Fight back! Do it for love…do it for you!!” But I remained silent.

I’ve always found it odd how there are times I can’t recall what I did in a single day, yet, I can remember back to a single moment in my past; a moment like this, and recall it in such vivid detail. Maybe it’s because of the impact it had on me, or that I still carry around the invisible scar these words left behind. Or, maybe I’m making too much of it, and it’s just how our brains work. But I will always remember this day – this conversation, for the rest of my life. Read more

I Felt Abandoned; When I Needed You Most

I needed you, and you weren’t there for me. I need you…YOU!! I felt all alone. I felt abandoned; when I needed you most.
Have you ever felt this kind of alone before? Alone because, no matter if it’s true or not, you feel those closest to you have abandoned you; left you in your darkest hour. Left you reaching out into the darkness of depression and anxiety; only to find no comfort, no matter how hard you reach. No one to hold you; no one to comfort you. No one to reassure you and tell you things will be ok; that the claims depression make against you are lies. No one to tell you, you are loved…or that you’re even worthy of that love?
I know this feeling all too well…and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.
Have you ever…been the person that abandoned someone in need? Refusing to set yourself aside; if for nothing else than because you’re their person? Or the fact that YOU are the one person in this world that can actually make a difference; that can actually help in this situation, but instead, you’re too focused on you.
I know how that feels too…and I will have to live with that; hearing the words that started this post, in my head, for the rest of my life. Read more