Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

How many times have you found yourself thinking, “Man, if I could only go back and talk to my younger self.” If only I could tell them to make better choices.” We’ve all thought that. It comes with getting older.
Sure, if we could go back we’d warn our younger selves about the downfalls of not doing better in school, choosing different career paths, picking who we spend our time with better, and most certainly, taking better care of our bodies. I know I would. But what do you think your future self would say to you right now? What if the *right now* you needed the talking to? What would it sound like?

This is how I imagine a conversation with my future self would go:
Future Self: Hey, how’s it going?
Me: Uhh, fine. Who are you?
Future Self: I’m you dude…but way older.
Me: Is this like a dream or something?
Future Self: I don’t know…maybe.
Me: Huh…this is weird.
Future Self: Naw, not really. Just look at it like Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey.
Me: So I see we’re still referencing movies in the future; awesome.
Future Self: Hells yeah…that never gets old bro.
Me: So, why are you here?
Future Self: Because, we need to have a talk. You need to get off your butt and start taking better care of yourself.
Me: I know, I know. I need to get back to gym.
Future Self: Not just that man. You gotta work on the inner you too. You gotta let go of some that baggage man. It’s gonna eat you alive. Stress is a killer dude. Oh, and there’s also this (take off hat to show bald head).

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Me: What the hell man?!? Where’s my hair???
Future Self: Gone bro. This is a result of the neglect you showed your hair loss in your early and mid 30s dude.
Me: What hair loss? My hair is fine!
Future Self: You think that Eddie Munster receding hair line is fine? And you wonder how we got here. Well, the kids and the wife don’t help much either. Look man, 32% of men report hair loss by age 35, and on top of that hereditary hair loss accounts for 95% of all hair loss in both men and women. There are tons of bald dudes in our family man…and I’m pretty sure a few women too.
Me: So now what? I’m just screwed?
Future Self: No! Use Rogaine man! Come on, it’s been around forever.
Me: Really? That’s it?
Future Self: Yeah dude. it ain’t rocket science. Oh, coincidentally, Rogaine is the name of the rocket that shuttles people back and forth from Earth to the Moon colony in the future. So, it kind of is rocket science.
Me: Seriously?!?
Future Self: No dummy!! Good lord you’re gullible. Work on that. Look dude, just apply Rogaine Unscented Foam twice daily directly to scalp over the hair loss area. It may not fix everything, or even prevent future hair loss, but at least it will give us a fighting chance as keeping some of that hair. Anyway, I gotta run.
Me: Is there anything you can tell me about the future?
Future Self: Nope. Remember Butterfly Effect?
Me: Yeah, that movie was garbage.
Future Self: Eh, true enough. But I’m still not telling you anything. You gotta live through it just like I did.
Me: Ok, ok…just one thing. Is my son still a jerk when he’s older?
Future Self: Nope…he’s pretty cool.
Me: Really? That’s good to hear.
Future Self: There you go being gullible again. You seriously have to fix that.

Disclosure: I have partnered with Life of Dad  and Rogaine for this promotion.


3 thoughts on “Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

  • September 22, 2016 at 11:23 am

    What a fun read! Relatable and humorous. Great post!

  • September 22, 2016 at 7:50 pm

    OK, my favorite part? ‘Butterfly Effect’. The past is gonna get us from our present.


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