Recently, I took a quick trip to my hometown of San Diego,
CA, for some much needed rest and relaxation. If you’ve been following along at
this year; even just at a minimal level, you’ve probably noticed this year has
been pretty tough for me. That’s why this trip was so important; I needed to
recharge. I needed to see friends and loved one face to face, or IRL (in real
life) as we tend to say on social media.
While there, I had a couple of opportunities to video chat
with my two monsters, and since I was staying with their uncles, they got a
chance to see them too. While chatting with my son, he expressed his sadness
over me being so far away, and told me about some issues at school, and how
excited he was his grandmother was visiting to help out his mom while I was
It was a normal conversation for me, but as soon as I hung
up both my brothers expressed amazement, as well joy that my son expressed his
feelings so easily, and clearly. I sometimes forget how amazing my son is when
it comes to expressing his feelings; it’s something I admire in him, and dread
for the future holds for him.
That’s the first time I’ve ever said, written, or even acknowledged that fact about myself.
I’ve never been to rehab, although; I probably should have at a couple points in my life. I’ve never been to AA or any recovery program, for me, but I’ve attended a lot for other people. And, I’ve never gotten a single DUI…sadly, not from a lack of trying in my younger days.
But, I have done a lot of damage to other people in my life, including my former marriage, and worse, to myself, because of my issues with alcohol. My ex-wife and I may not agree on much, and we may never see eye-to-eye on most things, but one thing I will never deny, is that I should have gotten help a long time ago, and because I used alcohol to self-medicate a lot of issues from my mental illness; irreparable harm was done…and that’s on me.
Change is hard. Especially when you don’t see a need to change, or when the action that needs to change is associated with having a good time; like drinking. By this point in all our lives, we all know someone, or you are that person, that has a little too much at a party and becomes the life of the party to some, or the annoying drunk to others. When we were young it was easy to laugh off these kinds of actions as someone just cutting loose. But now, as we’re older and supposedly more mature, these are the kind of action we identify with someone who needs help.
But what if there was another in that scenario who also needed help? A person who doesn’t get out of control or make a scene? A person who can keep it together and handle their alcohol, but unbeknownst to you, they using that alcohol to cope with life? How do we spot them? Well, just short of that person saying they need help, we can’t. Read more →