As any parent can tell you – walking into your child’s bedroom, is usually the last thing you ever want to do. To venture into your child’s room, is to put your own life at risk. Think of it like walking into Chernobyl, without a hazmat suit. In fact, if you have kids, you should own a hazmat suit…and boots, with extra padding; one never knows where the next minefield of arch-destroying legos will pop up.
To put it simply – kids are disgusting. And forget about them EVER cleaning up, or ever throwing away a toy; no matter how broken and never-played-with it may be. It’s just not a thing in there world. Parents, since the beginning of time, have been resigned to wait, until their spawn leave the home. Then…take a blowtorch and a bag of lye to their children’s former dwelling. That is, until recently.
As a parent, you will become a living example of the saying wearing too many hats. Parents have a range of different roles; chauffeur, cook, prison warden, doctor, and none of them are every appreciated by your children.
Yes, I said doctor, and not nurse, because let’s be real, nurses do all the real work. Where my nurses at?!? HOLLA…(wink wink)…fist pound.
Sometimes, it’s hard to know which role to focus on at which time; especially when thy’re less defined than the service-oriented ones above.
Some elements of parenting will come naturally to some, and others will take much more work. I mean, not everyone can be perfect at everything like me. Maybe you’re the fun parent, or the creative one. or you’re the handy kind of parent that can teach your kid a skill.
Watching your children grow, and discover their passions, is easily one of the greatest feelings a parent can experience; especially when it’s in something competitive, like sports. It’s almost electric when you hear your child express joy over their new passion. You can feel the energy and excitement it gives them; the flames of passion have been ignited, and the fire is just waiting to be stoked. And as a parent, you want that feeling for your children, and hope it never ends.
But some times, we parents want it a little too much for our children, and risk ruining that experience for our children. How? Well, let me ask you this…how many times have you been to a kids sporting event, and have seen that parent? You know who I’m talking about; the parent that is, usually, decked out from head to toe in team apparel; maybe even with their kid’s name on their back. They’re usually posted up as close to the sideline, dugout, team box, or home plate, as they can be. It’s kind of hard to miss them; mainly because they’re usually screaming the coach, the umpire, their kid or the other team’s kids at any given moment…and it typically lasts the entire length of the event.
As much as we parents – yes even us sarcastic/jaded ones, love to talk about being in the moment, and not worrying about the missteps of our past, or what obstacles the future might bring; I think we need to worry about our past, and future, just a little. Why; you may be wondering. Well, I’ll answer that question, with question of my own…
How protected is your family?
No, I’m not talking physically, or about guns in the home, or anything like that. What I am talking about, is financially based. What steps have you taken, to make sure your family/loved ones are taken care of in case you pass away? Have you been saving properly, or are you more like me, where you didn’t pull your head out of your rear end until your mid 30s, in order to get your act together?
If you’re a parent – and you probably are if you’re reading this, then you’ve become well-acquainted with clutter. And depending the amount of monsters…er, kids, you having living in your home, the stress from clutter can feel like a mild annoyance, to the lost chapters of Dante’s Inferno, where you’re sentenced to an eternity of never-ending, soul-sucking labor; cleaning up after all of Hades children, and you’re forced to walk barefoot over legos and listen to Caillou on a loop.
Something like that…
Organizing is all the rage right now, due to a sweet woman named Marie Kondo, and her show on Netflix, Tiding Up. In the show, Marie simply asks you to ask yourself, Does this bring me joy? And if the answer is not an instant YES, you throw it away. I have to be honest, I haven’t been able to fully commit to this process; mainly because throwing your children out is generally frowned upon here in America, so….
Calm down! I’m only kidding…you can totally throw them away.
That’s the first time I’ve ever said, written, or even acknowledged that fact about myself.
I’ve never been to rehab, although; I probably should have at a couple points in my life. I’ve never been to AA or any recovery program, for me, but I’ve attended a lot for other people. And, I’ve never gotten a single DUI…sadly, not from a lack of trying in my younger days.
But, I have done a lot of damage to other people in my life, including my former marriage, and worse, to myself, because of my issues with alcohol. My ex-wife and I may not agree on much, and we may never see eye-to-eye on most things, but one thing I will never deny, is that I should have gotten help a long time ago, and because I used alcohol to self-medicate a lot of issues from my mental illness; irreparable harm was done…and that’s on me.
Being a parent; especially to young children, feels like it can be boiled down to one simple phrase – “Don’t do that!”…and of course, it’s yelled over and over, multiple times a day.
And do our kids listen…HELL NO!
Now some know-it-all is going to read this and be that jerk who pipes up with, “Well, maybe if you didn’t yell at your kids, but instead talk to them like an equal, they would listen.” To that person, I say, “Hey pal…shut up. About face and pound sand with that hippy logic. I’m sure you’re having a bang up time with your hipster babies Shilo and Rufus, but why don’t you head back to your craft beer tasting, with your non-prescription glasses and corncob pipe, and leave the normal parents alone.”
Sure, I yell, and it’s a bad habit. But, it’s also kind of my birthright to yell at my kids. That’s right, I said birthright; deal with it. But that right there; habits, is really where the success of getting through to your kids lives.
Well, this is it. We’re still alive, and we’ve reached a place not many thought we would…the end of the 2018.
I’ve had a very…interesting 2018. I’ve experienced many of my highest highs, and lowest lows in 2018; it’s been no smooth ride, I can tell you that. In fact; if I could described my 2018 in one word, it would be – headache.
That’s right; headache. Raising two kids under 7, trying to hold together, and eventually failing at, a dying marriage, turning 40 this year…alone. My year has felt like one big, roller coaster, with every dip, drop and loop imaginable. Stuff like that gives me motion sickness, and just thinking about it is bringing on an anxiety migraine.
That’s why you need to take of yourself in the new year. And nooooo! This isn’t going to be some corny, Eat, Pray, Loveyourself in 2019 post you see all over the internet right now.